A Bit About Me
I have never been easily defined; always a checked box of otherness. When I was younger my sister and I had very different hair and hers hung in ringlets with hints of golden brown while mine was a short packed black cotton mane. My father would put a small part on the top and force a barrette to hold down a thick tuft. In most cases the barrette would give up as if it reached muscle failure or it was overcrowded and lost unseen in a city of soft wool; a simple short afro. Many people would ask my parents, “How old is your son?” when referencing me, right after stating how beautiful my sister was. Fast forward. I walk into a class of college freshmen, and they begin to engage me with questions about not only my hair but my shoes, my race, my tattoos, and my job. Many assume that I am sitting in as a tutor, or I am a slightly older peer. I begin to go over the syllabus and mouths drop.
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I have always questioned my place, my identity, and even my ability to impart my knowledge with imposter’s syndrome. I believe I am a poet; however, I often question the idea of what a poet is. When I first began writing, I thought if I write what I feel, it can’t be wrong. I embraced empathy but later strayed away from telling other people’s stories. I wanted to be truthful and authentic. How does one write honestly for an audience when true honesty is writing for oneself?
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I have been competing on a national level in poetry slams since 2009. I have been on the final stage multiple times and have collected a few trophies in the process. However, performance poetry is not canonized and respected in the same way as traditional forms. This leads to another question; how does one transfer stage to page, or rage to stage? How does human emotion stay authentic through performance? Poetry really saved me in becoming emotionally intelligent to heal. I bring this experience into this particular project because the central character is me and so many others. My gift is telling stories. My curse is that I have had much trauma and many setbacks to have stories that need to be told. It is through this realization and my own healing through the arts that has set me on the path to build cathartic moments in my work both in writing and teaching.
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As a current Assistant Professor of English at Huston-Tillotson University, I see poetry as a catalyst for learning and I often use it to springboard activities or topics in my classes. I am seeking this fellowship opportunity to continue with the work that I am already familiar with and passionate about.
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There are so many elements that make up who I am. I am a mixture of races in a woman’s body that is strong but aware of power structures. I am a performer, an activist, and a poet. I am currently translating medieval literature into urban language for accessibility, developing a musical through Theatre Now New York’s National Musical Lab, and many other commissioned poetry and hosting opportunities.
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I am still finding my place. The one thing that I am certain of is that I want to keep learning. As a lifelong learner I am always an emerging scholar. I am already a practitioner choosing to study what I already do. Future endeavors would be to build a curriculum around poetry and serve as a mentor to educators in how to blend poetry and hip-hop into the classroom. My English department also has ideas to bring an MFA program to HT to further build a platform for marginalized narratives. I feel like I need to be in a position to help with those endeavors so I must set the example. I hope my passion for writing continues to inspire others to let their voices be heard.
Here are a few sites that are in development that showcase some of my work in writing and teaching:
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Musical in development: https://docthemic.wixsite.com/green
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Tenure Application: https://docthemic.wixsite.com/kruegertenure
